👀 First Impressions & The Story

Just like in the magazines — the place is gorgeous. It absolutely oozes wealth and has more yachts per capita than any other spot on earth.

We Ubered into Monaco from our Airbnb, winding through the hills with water views so pretty they almost made me forget how much it all probably cost. My big question was: what do we actually do here?

It’s undeniably beautiful, but we were on holiday from Amsterdam, out for a good time — so… where’s the fun?

Turns out, no surprise here, it’s the casino. That’s it.

Now, we only went at night, so maybe there’s more to do during the day — but somehow, I doubt it.

Anyway, we tried to go to the Monte Carlo Casino, only to find out you had to pay €17 just to enter. (Paying to get into a casino??) The bigger problem: you need your passport, and apparently, a regular EU ID doesn’t cut it. Ours were back at the Airbnb.

So, instead of playing roulette, we walked around smelling the exhaust of what must’ve been $100 million worth of exotic cars. After that, we wandered back to the terrace restaurant area, ordered a few glasses of wine, and did some world-class people watching.

But here’s where the story gets good. Around midnight, we called for an Uber. Guess what? No Uber.
No kidding — zero. We were stuck in Monaco, a couple of miles from our Airbnb.

So, we started walking. About ten minutes in, one phone died, and the other lost service. We were flying blind, picking random turns through a dimly lit commercial area, half-laughing, half-panicking, trying to get home.

Someone — not me — was not happy about this and made sure I knew it for all 40 minutes of that walk.

We made it fine, no incidents, but let’s just say we didn’t go back the next night.
Lesson learned: Monaco looks better from the balcony with a glass of wine in hand.

🏠 Where We Stayed

This was part of our Epic 2022 Holiday, and the Airbnb had one of the best views we’ve ever had — even to this day.

That said, I’m not recommending it or linking to it, because the host was… well, an idiot. Listing fluffed, communication poor, zero flexibility. The apartment itself was fine — and again, the view was unbeatable — but no gold stars from me this time.

I wonder if this Monaco resident has a trust fund?

⚡ The Buzz Factor

This place is electric. We walked into the casino area from the waterfront restaurant strip, and it was sensory overload: Ferraris, Lamborghinis, McLarens, and cars I couldn’t even name — all roaring through the valet circle.

And here’s the universal truth I learned:
Guys in loud cars are the same everywhere.

Doesn’t matter if it’s a southern kid back home revving his ’73 Chevy pickup with the muffler off, or a billionaire flicking the “sport mode” on his McLaren — it’s the same exact energy.

Basically, it’s the global version of the “who’s got the bigger dick” competition — just with a lot more carbon fiber and champagne.

Juvenile? Sure. Entertaining? Absolutely. You can’t help but get caught up in it — the lights, the sound, the sheer absurdity. It’s like being inside a car commercial directed by the universe’s most ridiculous frat boy.

🍷 The Bite Test

Can’t speak for the exclusive, Michelin-starred places (they didn’t exactly roll out the red carpet for us), but the wharf area has plenty of relaxed terrace restaurants and bars — the kind where tourists like us can blend in and order without feeling judged.

The wine and beer were great, the snacks were average-to-good bar fare, and the prices were predictably high — but hey, it’s Monaco.

If you go in expecting to pay too much for everything, you’ll have a better time.

🎭 Fun Stuff to Do

We were only there in the evening, so our sample size was limited — but honestly, everyone seemed to be headed to the casino.

I’m not a big casino guy anyway, but I can imagine the real fun in Monaco happens if you arrive by yacht. A 100-footer would actually be considered small here.

During the day, there’s a museum and a large outdoor garden — we didn’t go.
There’s also the pebble beach, great, a rocky beach — not my thing. Beautiful water, but no sand, just polished stones and a lot of very underdressed French people.

Let’s just say it wasn’t my best beach day.

💬 Final Thoughts

Monaco is a place you MIGHT go once, mostly to see if it’s really like the pictures. Spoiler: it is. But unless you have a yacht, a trust fund, or a deep love of Ferraris, one night might be enough.

Still, it’s a spectacle, A real life view into the lifestyles of the rich and famous. Just remember your passport, wear comfortable shoes, and maybe download an offline map — you know, in case Uber ghosts you too.

Monaco- I’m playing the PASS line